Rifftrax: Dune 2021

Carving out a bold new path in sci-fi plotlines, Paul might be the chosen one. Hopefully it goes better than the last time House Atreides picked a chosen one and went with Ryan Leaf. Paul’s main qualification for being a Kwisatz Haderach (translation: Webelo Scout) appears to be that he has a lot of dreams about a hot chick, in which case his mom would be wise to knock before barging into the Kwisatz’s bedroom. Paul’s life is upended when his dad gets transferred to Arrakis, a desert planet infested with giant worms and Duncan Idahos. Paul finds all the sand coarse, rough, and irritating, but at least he has the good sense to keep these idiotic thoughts to himself. All is overdramatic and bagpipe-y until the evil Baron Harkoness emerges from his signature Black Goo Tub to betray House Atreides, which frankly, they should have seen coming as soon as they noticed he owned a Black Goo Tub. The drama builds until ending, as you’d expect if you noticed the fine print on the poster, halfway through the story. Come back and catch part 2 in 2023 if movie theaters still exist. Until then, join Mike, Kevin, and Bill Dune: Part 1.